1.女孩子并不在乎你有没有钱，她在乎的是你会不会发奋努力改变现状；
2.女孩子并不在乎与你生活在一起会遇到困难，她在乎的是你会不会迎难而上，不逃避；
3.女孩子并不在乎你长得有多帅，她在乎的是你能不能给她足够的安全感；
4.女孩子并不在乎你跟你的异性朋友有多好，她在乎的是你能不能一心一意对她好；
5.女孩子并不在乎你送她的礼物有多贵，她在乎的是你会不会时常给她个惊喜；
6.女孩子并不在乎你的志向有多远大，她在乎的是你是不是一个老实做人、踏实做事的人；
7.女孩子并不在乎你有多浪漫，她在乎的是能不能从生活的点滴中感受到你的爱；
8.女孩子并不在乎你的人可以每时每刻都陪在她身边，她在乎的是你的心可以无时无刻不想着她；
9.女孩子并不在乎你在物质生活上给她多大的满足，她在乎的往往是一句窝心的话，那似乎比什么都重要；
10.女孩子并不在乎你现在的境况如何，她在乎的是你能不能让她看到你的未来；
11.女孩子并不在乎你跟她的关系有多亲密，她在乎的是你会不会负责到底；
12.女孩子并不在乎可以分享你的快乐，她在乎的是可不可以分担你的忧愁；
13.女孩子并不在乎跟你在一起吃苦，她在乎的是陪你走到最后的是不是她。
-转贴自Alice bong面子书-
Showing posts with label 哲理？歪理？[Theory]. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 哲理？歪理？[Theory]. Show all posts
分手时七个不要问。。
1.不要問：為什麼要分手？
無論答案是甚麼，都是你難以接受的原因。
2.不要問：你有沒有愛過我？
愛過如何，未愛過又如何，總之這一刻就是不愛。
3.不要問：我做錯了些甚麼？
愛不是講對錯，而是講感覺。相愛是談情，不是講理，當愛的感覺已經不存在，對和錯又可以挽回些甚麼？
4.不要問：我有甚麼不好？她有甚麼好？我有甚麼比不上她？
何必逼對方，再一次侮辱你，打擊你的自信心。
5.不要問：難道你不記得我們以前快樂的日子了麼？
他/她要離開，就是因為他/她要的是現在的快樂，和將來的快樂。
6.不要問：不如我們重新來過？
這個哀求只會令對方覺得你更可憐、更卑微。
7.不要問：我們以後還可不可以做朋友？
這樣拖泥帶水，對方只會感到厭煩。
分手時，沉默是最好的問題，最圓滿的答案...
無論答案是甚麼，都是你難以接受的原因。
2.不要問：你有沒有愛過我？
愛過如何，未愛過又如何，總之這一刻就是不愛。
3.不要問：我做錯了些甚麼？
愛不是講對錯，而是講感覺。相愛是談情，不是講理，當愛的感覺已經不存在，對和錯又可以挽回些甚麼？
4.不要問：我有甚麼不好？她有甚麼好？我有甚麼比不上她？
何必逼對方，再一次侮辱你，打擊你的自信心。
5.不要問：難道你不記得我們以前快樂的日子了麼？
他/她要離開，就是因為他/她要的是現在的快樂，和將來的快樂。
6.不要問：不如我們重新來過？
這個哀求只會令對方覺得你更可憐、更卑微。
7.不要問：我們以後還可不可以做朋友？
這樣拖泥帶水，對方只會感到厭煩。
分手時，沉默是最好的問題，最圓滿的答案...
-转载自友人esther goh's 面子书-
How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
Step 1
Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.
Step 2
Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... People in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously.
Step 3
Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!
Step 4
Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. Here are additional benefits of long distance relationships.
Step 5
Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
Step 6
Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
Step 7
Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
Step 8
Remember: Things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.
Step 9
Visit often. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help an LDR survive.
Step 10
Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in an LDR, your lives won't pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
Step 11
Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of an LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don't have "face-to-face" time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
Step 12
Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, where they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you. This will provide comfort, happiness, and the thought of being with you.
Step 13
Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about. But don't forget to ask some questions because if you don't, your partner may start to think that you're losing interest.
Step 14
Create your own set of relationship standards that both of you have mutually agreed upon. That creates a common goal for you to work towards developing a strong relationship whether you are together or apart. For example, ...agree to disagree, accept each other as you are, trust and honesty, compromise and self-sacrifice, spiritual unity, open communication.
Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.
Step 2
Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... People in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously.
Step 3
Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!
Step 4
Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. Here are additional benefits of long distance relationships.
Step 5
Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
Step 6
Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
Step 7
Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
Step 8
Remember: Things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.
Step 9
Visit often. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help an LDR survive.
Step 10
Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in an LDR, your lives won't pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
Step 11
Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of an LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don't have "face-to-face" time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
Step 12
Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, where they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you. This will provide comfort, happiness, and the thought of being with you.
Step 13
Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about. But don't forget to ask some questions because if you don't, your partner may start to think that you're losing interest.
Step 14
Create your own set of relationship standards that both of you have mutually agreed upon. That creates a common goal for you to work towards developing a strong relationship whether you are together or apart. For example, ...agree to disagree, accept each other as you are, trust and honesty, compromise and self-sacrifice, spiritual unity, open communication.
10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Boyfriend
Quoted from Yahoo Website: Love + Sex , 8 January 2010
It is an interesting topic and I agreed so much to the Author. It seemed there are so many things we should not say to bf, but we are unaware it. Let's look at it.
1) "My ex did the exact same thing!"
Well, it is not a good try..please keep it to yourself.. Men hate they are being compared to your ex.. Don't hurt his esteem or challenge his tolerance!
2) "Helen's pregnant ... Shhhh"
Gossip again.. burden him with more secret? He will feel 'you wanna get me into trouble?"
Since this is none of his business, why need wana share with him?
3) "When we're married/have kids..."
If you have a bf same as mine, who loves his freedom. Please don't scare your beloved with all these 'dreams'. They will run immediately once they know.
4) "I just farted"
Nothing wrong with farted, every human does that. Right? Admit generously. Your men will like your honesty more than your pretends.
5) "I'm fine" or "Never mind"
When both of us come to an upset discussion, it really caused me speechless or don't feel like to talk. Indeed, this is the regular case i always did to him. Although i spoke "Is OK", "Forget about it", "Nothing serious", but all these still crossed my mind. It is pretty hard to control. Hope I can have better improvement on this.
6) "Do you think she's pretty?"
Haha, this is the most stupid question for me.
If your bf answer "Yes", he will be in disaster.
If he answer "No", you will feel why he taste different from you.
If he is sensitive to the danger, he will make you believe he has a right sense with you, at the same time you are being pursuaded "you're the best" in his mind.
Since there is no right or wrong in answering, why wanna bother him with such stupid question?
7) "I'll try anything once"
Same opinion as the Author..
Do you really mean it?
8) "Are you sure you're okay?"
Let him have his space. Keep on asking for a definite answer will only make him feel you are so noisy and troublesome. He just doesn't want worry another person.
9) "I hate my thighs"
Sometimes i did dislike my thighs because it made me look fat in certain clothing. Why wanna bother how other people look at me? When the time he chosen me, he must had a closer look at my body. Don't make him feel he has a wrong selection on you. Of course he can't deny that if he ever comment my figure. Try to think it cheerfully, indeed his comment made me have a better knowledge on how to make myself wear pretty.
But..A man who care your outlook more than your inner beauty, why we need him?
10) "I hate your mom"
This is unforgivable. No matter how much you dislike his mum, that's the war between you and her. Don't sandwich him between the women's war. If he has an unreasonable mum, try to avoid have a 'direct' deal. Every man wants a good wife cum filial daughter-in-law. So, what we can do? Try our best to fulfill them.
Babe, Good luck to you!
For further details or information, please refer to the link.
It is an interesting topic and I agreed so much to the Author. It seemed there are so many things we should not say to bf, but we are unaware it. Let's look at it.
1) "My ex did the exact same thing!"
Well, it is not a good try..please keep it to yourself.. Men hate they are being compared to your ex.. Don't hurt his esteem or challenge his tolerance!
2) "Helen's pregnant ... Shhhh"
Gossip again.. burden him with more secret? He will feel 'you wanna get me into trouble?"
Since this is none of his business, why need wana share with him?
3) "When we're married/have kids..."
If you have a bf same as mine, who loves his freedom. Please don't scare your beloved with all these 'dreams'. They will run immediately once they know.
4) "I just farted"
Nothing wrong with farted, every human does that. Right? Admit generously. Your men will like your honesty more than your pretends.
5) "I'm fine" or "Never mind"
When both of us come to an upset discussion, it really caused me speechless or don't feel like to talk. Indeed, this is the regular case i always did to him. Although i spoke "Is OK", "Forget about it", "Nothing serious", but all these still crossed my mind. It is pretty hard to control. Hope I can have better improvement on this.
6) "Do you think she's pretty?"
Haha, this is the most stupid question for me.
If your bf answer "Yes", he will be in disaster.
If he answer "No", you will feel why he taste different from you.
If he is sensitive to the danger, he will make you believe he has a right sense with you, at the same time you are being pursuaded "you're the best" in his mind.
Since there is no right or wrong in answering, why wanna bother him with such stupid question?
7) "I'll try anything once"
Same opinion as the Author..
Do you really mean it?
8) "Are you sure you're okay?"
Let him have his space. Keep on asking for a definite answer will only make him feel you are so noisy and troublesome. He just doesn't want worry another person.
9) "I hate my thighs"
Sometimes i did dislike my thighs because it made me look fat in certain clothing. Why wanna bother how other people look at me? When the time he chosen me, he must had a closer look at my body. Don't make him feel he has a wrong selection on you. Of course he can't deny that if he ever comment my figure. Try to think it cheerfully, indeed his comment made me have a better knowledge on how to make myself wear pretty.
But..A man who care your outlook more than your inner beauty, why we need him?
10) "I hate your mom"
This is unforgivable. No matter how much you dislike his mum, that's the war between you and her. Don't sandwich him between the women's war. If he has an unreasonable mum, try to avoid have a 'direct' deal. Every man wants a good wife cum filial daughter-in-law. So, what we can do? Try our best to fulfill them.
Babe, Good luck to you!
For further details or information, please refer to the link.
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