31-1-2010

What contributed the happiness? This question has came to my mind for this few days.

When there are too much of rumour or other factors that might caused both of you having continuous conflicts/wars. Trust plays an important role but it only contributed a 50% for your happiness.

Influencer can be your family, your friends (there are always bad friends), colleagues and also some none related character. Words from none important character always hurt the most, especially when your beloved choose to believe from those groups. Sometimes word doesn't hurt us when we are strong. Simple explanation: When a person is angry, there is always no good words from him/her.
This should be understood by everyone. That's the reason we always said "calm down". When your mind has cooled down, you are not disturbed by the evil cells, you can easily understand the situation and make the elaboration. Then it will be the a better time to have discussion for both parties. The best way to maintain this 50% is being Honest to each other. This is definitely agreed by you also, right? Nothing to hide, the love is simple and pure.

When both of you have mutual trust on each other, where should another 50% comes from?
It comes from various factors.

I don't deny that a person's thinking influenced the most. When there is a mutual conception between both you, of course everything will be clearly defined and easier to understand.
We always think that "you should be this way", lots of beautiful illusion appeared in our mind. Opposite way, assume that " you are with your ex", the feeling will be miserable.
If a party always have the assumption/imagination to another party, here comes the problem.
There will be two senarios: A good assumption creates expectation; A bad assumption challenges your trust.

In reality, majority of us did that. This is hardly to avoid, especially toward certain people who has bad experiences. This is linked with the self character. Environment influenced people. A man's background is not important. Of course, the most important point is how much this person worth your devoted love. Chinese always said "Dog never change its habit to eat shit". If he/she deserves dog food, please have your loyalty on him/her. If not, please get out of the "love tomb/ love trap" as soon as possible, let him/her continue eating shits.. =P

By the way, no matter how much efforts done in the relationship, it still have to depends on luck and fate. Not everyone can get the right feeling for the right person at once. Not everyone can also "tahan" for the rest of life. Divorce is getting common. Not because they didn't put the effort in the marriage, but sometimes when they have more times to spend together, they will realise " the person who understand you the most, doesn't mean is the person who know you the most".

So, for the singles, please open your big eyes and look forward.
For the 'engaged' people, i hope you are always 'accurate' for the right target.